My First Time

Adventures in live blogging,

The Sound of Music. Let’s go.

8:08 – Movie is still paused. Gina is finishing her drink and we can’t start until we’re all in jammies. This is our life.
8:14 – Fiona the cat is wagging her tail like a dog. Still paused.
8:15 – This is now “not-so-live” blogging.
8:16 – Play!   Wait..opera?
8:19 – First mention of these “hills.” Are they alive?
8:20 – Yes. Yes, they are.
8:24 – Maria is a problem..
8:28 – You can’t sing?! But.. it’s Carrie Underwood!
8:30 – The song order is different, so I’ve been told
8:32 – LEAVE?!
8:34 – Erika is upset that the script has changed. This is serious.
8:35 – Fast forwarding through the commercials. Much better than really live shows.
8:25 – Getting a history lesson about Austria and the Nazis.
8:40 – Thanks to Barbara’s phone call, I’m missing most of this movie.
8:41 – God, this whistle is annoying.
8:44 – Everybody sings! Except nuns apparently..
8:45 – La, a note to follow Sol. How lazy.
8:48 – This is a lot of music lesson for a movie. Seems a bit unnecessary, doesn’t it?
8:49 – Seems a bit convenient that there’s one child for each for each note. I smell a conspiracy. Captain father did this on purpose didn’t he?

8:52 – Second commercial break. Erika seems disgusted.
8:53 – Fiona joins us. We’re only half an hour into this movie. A quarter way through. It’s going to be a long night.
8:59 – The birthday song. This guy is actually pretty creepy, following her around the dark woods and singing about taking care of her. I would not suggest pursuing this romance, girl.
There is a lack of gazebo.
Wait, I thought this girl had never sung before? How does she know the words to the creepy boy woods song?
9:03 – Dead wife. What a convenient plot element.
9:07 – and she yodels. I think I’m going to start yodeling during storms. My roommates would love me.
9:09 – and they can dance?! if there’s no music, they can’t have learned how to dance…!

9:11 – More commercials. Carrie is amazing. American Idol has gone downhill since then.
9:12 – this mom looks like a bitch.
“I feel like they should all have German accents” Picky, picky..
9:15 – By the time their voices changed, they were rich enough to live in America.
9:16 – This song was in the original musical, but not the movie. I don’t know if that’s a pro or a con.
9:19 – Nazis!!!!!
9:25 – How touching. Vampire Bill, now he will eat them all..

9:29 – More commercials. Fast forward saves the day again.
9:30 – This dancing is awfully dramatic.
9:33 – What aren’t they in love yet? Bitchy woman seems unimpressed.
9;34 – “I don’t remember anymore” translates roughly to “I want your hands on my body and its not Godly.”
9:35 – That cameraman messed up, out of focus. He’s fired now.
9:39 – That’s an incorrect use of “Adeiu.”
9:41 – She’s leaving! But she has to take care of these kids?! What are you doing Maria!? Stay for the kids!
9:42 – He’s got a secret wall that opens to the abbey. That’s strange.

Annnddd.. commercials.
9:45 – The only woman in the world to never want to be in love..
9:47 – The reverend mother is a Jamaican opera singer.

9:50 – More commercials. We’re out of fast forward. Back to real-live blogging.
9;51 – This is the most adorable commercial EVER!
9:53 -The child’s balls have clearly not dropped.  and this is a strange game.
9:54 – Gina feels drunk. Ho boy.
9:55 – This is where I pay. This is not where you pay.
9:56 – Gina is already forgetting what she wants to say.

10:03 – Don’t snack, you might just be tired or lonely, not hungry. Should we really be taking advice from a bathroom stall?
10:06 – Lemon flavored salted apricots
OH MY GOD ITS SO TERRIBLE NEVER EAT ONE OF THESE

10:13 – Oh, now he sings..?
10:16 – The Jamaican nun convinced her to come back!  and she has new, motherly hair. hooray!
10:18 – You left with no explanation. It was your hot body. It drove me away.
10:21 – Gina has a huge boner, you just can’t see it. “I like when anyone massages my anything.”
10:22 – Oh, she gets a song? Everyone does, it’s a musical. Wait, what?! This is a new song?!
Is sasha this chick or Carrie Underwood? Clearly, Carrie Underwood.
10:27 – I didn’t know this was a love story..
10:29 – Men don’t actually offer you the world. Ever. Not even after the first kiss. This is unrealistic.
10:33 – That wedding dress is hideous. But its ok, because she’s Carrie Underwood.
10:34 – Are they really singing this song at her wedding?
10:35 – More secret walls

10:39 – I think this movie could have ended at the wedding.
10:42 – This movie is so long. I’m losing interest.
10:49 – I’ve lost track of this movie. He doesn’t want to be a Nazi, so they sing? Ok.
10:50 – That’s a five to one ratio of jam and bread.
10:51 – Erika tries to explain what really happened.
10:52 – He gets shot in this version, no one ever told you. Right in front of the kids.
10:54 – “Forgot they got married.”

10:56 – Von Trapps, get the fuck out!

11:00 Storm troopers?! BLOG THAT GINA!…I’m serious
11:05 – Finished. I don’t even know…

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