There are three girls in my house.
We are all strong, independent women. We are smart (we’re all in grad school, so that must count for something). We were all brave enough to move to Washington DC and immerse ourselves in an entirely different culture. We’re each at least 5’ 5”.
So why were we bested by a single bug?
That’s right. There was a bug in our house. In a bug prison. For 15 hours.
I was lucky enough to encounter this lovely sign on my way down the stairs this morning.
I thought to myself, “This must be an overreaction. I’ll just take care of it before I leave.” I’m not one to be bothered by bugs that much. Is there a (non-hairy) spider around? I got this. Potato bug? Ain’t no big thang. “Large cockroach”? Whatevs.
One look at that sucker changed my mind immediately. Even I have a limit on what I’ll deal with. Now, maybe my memory is skewed, but this thing was MASSIVE. Like, three inches long, with big feeler things. And it moved.
I delicately sidestepped the overturned-Tupperware cage my roommate had finagled, grabbed my lunch, and booked it to campus to spend the next nine hours as far from the pest as possible.
Returning home, I discovered our newest pet was still exactly where we’d left him.
15 hours after his initial discovery, we (who am I kidding.. ONE of us) worked up the courage to conquer the beast. Dressed in our rubber boots (just in case), armed with nothing more than some paper and a plan, we set off on our quest. Here’s a rough approximation of what went down.
Katie: “Ok, I’m going to slide the paper under. OH MY GOD IT MOVED I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE OH NO!”
Monica: “It’s ok. Here, use cardboard to carry it since it’s sturdier.”
Me: “I’m just going to stand over here and hold the door open…”
Katie: “OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR! I’VE GOT IT! AHH I’M SHAKING!”
Monica: “Go! Go! Throw it in the trash can on Florida Avenue!”
Me: “I’m just going to stand over here and hold the door open… So we don’t get locked out and all.. yea.”
Every drain has since been bleached and we’re all too scared to walk into the office or kitchen alone. But, we’re brave. I swear.